The Text Post

my-h-e-a-r-t-s-not-in-it:

hey sorry im late i didnt want to come

(via yourbeautifuliloveyou)

boodlicious:

I don’t post selfies I post masterpieces

(via relaxativity)

becausewords:

half of my followers are spam  tbh

#humor  #lol 

krisbuscus:

bandsdidyoumeanlife:

bandsdidyoumeanlife:

If an intruder ever comes to fucking murder you. You throw your mother fucking head back pull your arms in weird shapes and whip your head forward again and say the anti crist has awoken whilst smiling the biggest smile you have ever made. no smart person would ever fuck around with you if you did that.

STOP REBLOGGING THIS PLEASE ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION

I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFFFEEE

(via stormikitten)

#humor 

actuates:

*punches you in the face*
“It’s a metaphor”

(via becausewords)

#humor 

johnjewbert:

if you dont like me please dont pretend to like me ever

(via porcelainxombie)

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